Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Memoirs

I try to find the answers,

but i just cant seem to find.

I try to runaway,

be im always out of time.

I try to avoid,

but you keep appearing in my mind.

I try to face it,

but it makes me feel small inside.

I try to be brave,

but i feel so out of place.

I try to be strong,

but memories keep me weak and everything i do is wrong.

I try to find someone new,

but i am never satisfied and it hurts me so.

I try to love again,

But it feels so wrong.

I try moving on,

but somehow I keep being stuck in the past.

You said you promise,

but can i trust?

You said you promise,

was that you lieing?

you said you promise,

i have stop believing.

you said you promise,

i just kept crying.

Now i just stare at the pictures of our memories,

should i burn it? or should i keep it with me?

Posted by Chelsea at 5/30/2006 02:14:00 PM

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Have i become so blind that i did'nt even see him rite smack infront of my eyes. Was it just a big lie? I had visions of another guy, why have i become so blind?? All i thought about in sec 2 church camp was " him, him, him."

Now that i realised "???" was the one who liked me all this time, i feel like such a fool. Now i can't even get to see him. Love hurts. Im sorry that im telling all this shit rite now, but i have been keeping it in for so long i had to let it out. I dun stand a chance anymore. i doubt im even the person in his eyes. He probally met another girl who is nicer, smarter, much much prettier than me. Why did'nt he just tell me then!! What can i do now? I have no choice, i will just have to live my life like how it was, be me, and pretend that i never liked him. It's already hard as it is living everyday knowing that i will never see him again. Chelsea anne Rodrigues... you are such a clown. i am even so desperate as to post something that i noe will not happy like chain mails... KUKUNANA .. thats what nicole would call it. But i guess that's what love does to people. It makes them crazy. That's why sometimes i prefer not to love. Some even go as far is suicide for love... that is just bonkers.. Anyway, at least i got my friends, my sister, my family. Not forgetting my passion. My poetry, my art, my window, my soul. At least i'll be taking my mind off things. At least i learned something like dun be so blind next time. I dun regret the things i do, i have to learn from a few wrong turns right?

Until next time i remain yours truly a window to my soul... ~poison~

Posted by Chelsea at 5/16/2006 10:19:00 PM

Friday, May 12, 2006

Exams are finally over. Finally free at last, for now at least. Yestersday, I took crissy out to celebrate her birthday. We had lunch at fish and Co. at wheelock place, Orchard. Funny thing is, Cristy is really embarrassing to eat with *haha*. She spilled mayo on her bag. haha. Anyway, after lunch, we were like so bloated, felt like humpty dumpty. After we ate we went to chomel jewellry shop and i bought her a choker (its a sort of necklace). And took two Memorable neoprints which costs me about $22 altogether. But it was worth it, it came out beautiful. The day has been fine so far and im doing well in all aspects of my life and i hope to achieve more.

Always.. Poisoned...

Posted by Chelsea at 5/12/2006 09:08:00 PM

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The smile reflected on my face,
the pride i hold in my own grace,
My heart that beats a thousand drums,
slowly fading away.

Silence is what i hear,
Call my name, echo's near.
I find my self lock tight,
I find myself reflected in another's eyes.

Im the poison, im the venom,
No hope, No faith,
It's the end, If done my part,
I have become a loveless heart.