Sunday, October 29, 2006

Today All of us went to church together. I was damn tired.

AFter church Leslie, Dominique and I tageen along to Cat class for the sexuality talk to accompany Cristy and debra.
It was very educational but quite dry. ANyway after that we went to eat and we headed for the resevoir along with Don. It was very nice there.

It was peaceful and calm. It's a place where we all could clear our head.

We sat at the jetty and when i was alone at the jetty alot of thoughts ran through my head. Like my past events and stuff. Its just this intimacy between your mind and soul. I have'nt felt like that for a long time and i kind of miss it. Everything felt so free there and relaxed like there were no problems. You know?? like a child again.

ANd i was just sitting there alone trying to fix back pieces that i ran away from or could'nt bother to even handle. I felt like some part of me was missing. like i was torn away from what i really feel inside of me. Two split personalities. The inner me and the me when im around my friends. Somehow i just cannot ignore that i feel something in me is missing. Just this missing piece only when im sitting by myself alone and thinking to myself.

I did'nt want to face it and i did'nt even want to admit it. Now that i have what is that missing piece. I have everything i already need. The love from My family and friends, A home to live in and everything a girl could want. Then what is it that i need so badly? what is this missing piece? and why am i scared to find it and make myself whole again?

Im not upset im just afraid. Ironic thing is i don't even know what is the missing thing that im afraid of.