Thursday, December 21, 2006

My era of the perrenial happiness has come to a sudden halt. It's one of those days again where i feel helpless, useless and the oh so common used word in Singapore and any other country infact, Depressed. Why you say?

I've got my reasons why and yet I find it so hard to reach out to help. Im so helpless and i can't do anything about it. It's as if my heart has been ripped in countless pieces. I have'nt lost my way but i am in such dark that's hard for me to choose where to go. Go where you ask?

Not to a dead end, not to a road where i give up but to somewhere where i feel like i can do something to help where im useful and not useless.
Im miserable cause i can't do anything to help. I've got no powers, im not wonder woman, im not made of steel. I can't teleport, and im not what you call some good witch.Im just a girl. A girl. I am only the instrument and not the player. I serve but somehow my service to people seems to be failing. Why?

As much as i want to help i can only do so little and the rest is all up to God. I just don't know how or when.
Christmas, my supposedly joyous and full of life season, is what i feel and think no longer fits in my picture right now.
Where do i go from here?

My heads spinning,
my face has gone dull,
my eyes full of sadness,
my heart faint right now.

~Lord, be my refuge and help~