Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Im so sick of this.
I hate the feeling. I have so much hatred in me that i never had before. It's starting to choke me up.
I just can't seem to let go of this hatred i have.
Why?

Every night i think about it. It drives me nuts. I keep praying for a sense of relief and peace but i hardly feel it now. I get agitated so easily. im so impatient now espeacially to boys. I don't know why.
i Get angry very fast now. im like some volcano.

In school with my friends i don't feel that way. Why is it when im alone i feel all this shit?
Is it because i finally start acknowledging my inner feeling, my insecurities? i've been burying it so far down that it's starting to catch up to me. Running and running but it just seems to catch up to me.

I don't want to remmeber it Lord,
I don't want to remember anything, Lord
I want it out of me.
I don't want any of it.
It's been repeating and it's not fair!
Im crying out Lord, take it away from me.
Relieve my soul, calm the storm in me.

~ when time starts catching up to you, you know how much you've been running from~