Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I just read my previous posts. I can't help but take a look at my past. It's sad and happy. Events in my life have really made a major impact on what i've become today.
Holding back my feelings so that i won't have to ever feel hurt again. I could if i wanted to fall for it again but i know i mus'nt. Just so you know this feelings taking control of me and i can't help it.

It's times like these where i wish i could just be a child again. I won't have to worry.
Yea it's like running away. All my life i've been running. When i finally face things it feels so heavy and slowly my burdens lighten.

This year is My olevel year. Somehow im just afraid. I'm afraid that i won't be able to do well. I'm afraid i'll do horribly. I'm afraid i don't meet the grades i want. I sound so crappy. Maybe im just in that relflection mood.

I have made so many mistakes only to hurt myself and i have to stop. I've been giving advice to people but not taking my own. It's about time i used the advice for myself.

Months may pass,
Days have gone,
Still on occasions i think of us under the sun.
Days of laughter, days of fun,
you turned them around to hurt my heart.

Promises shattered right before my eyes,
gave me tears not a sweet lullaby.
You held my hand assured me life,
only to kill my spirit's light.

Sweet words whispered to my ear,
faked and poisoned,
cast into me only my fears.
Fears of rejection, loneliness and doubt
Fears of never being good enough.

Our road ended only to split,
in different directions we had to live.
You ran off and found another girl,
in a matter of weeks called her your dream.
It made me wonder of your love true,
or a chase you played me like a fool.

I cried,
left feeling cast away.
No longer in your life,
was i now.

Two months went by pretty fast,
I found myself someone nice.
But because of you i resist,
fearing a nightmare repeating again.

Sweet words melted the heart,
but memories of you froze it again.
You claim you changed,
but i felt it not.

A dart forever you'll be,
Darkness is what i see.
I see,
when i think back about the memories of you and me.